How to Annoy Ninjas
by MikaUchiha
Summary: The epic and captivating story of how I annoyed the crap out of the characters of Naruto. CRACK and some yaoi tendencies! T to be safe! :


**By: MikaUchiha1**

**The original concept isn't mine. I just adopted the story and added more to it.**

**WARNING: Might contain some...awkward situations...and yaoi! **

**How to Annoy Ninjas**

**Ch. 1 How to Annoy Naruto**

* * *

There I was. Squatting in some bushes outside the gates of Konoha. What was I doing there?

Plotting. Oh yes.

I pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of my pocket and smiled evily.

And so the story begins...

_**1. When in front of him, talk about how cool Sasuke is.**_

"Hey, Naruto!"

Naruto spun around at when he heard his name called out.

"Huh? Who are you!"

I giggled to myself as Naruto squinted his eyes and rubbed the back of his head as usual.

"Oh...just a visitor...form uh..."

_'Crap...think of a place...think of a place..Sand...no...overly used...Sound...evil...is that Rock Lee? Rock!'_

"The Hidden Rock Village!"

"OK..."

"So, uh, you know that hottie teammate of yours, Sasuke-kuuuun?"

A look of disgust crossed Naruto's face. It was working!

"That teme! Of course I do! What about him?"

"Well...he's just so...SEXY! I mean have you seen those steamy abs of his! And those eyes! Oh yeah baby!"

"B-But-"

"And not only that but his smooth hair is sooooo perfect! And that moody attitude! Yummy! AND HIS SEXY, FIRM BUTT!"

"Uh-"

"I mean yummy, yum, yum! Come to mommy, Sasuke!"

"I think I'm gonna b-"

"I mean, I've seen plenty of hot men before, but he just wins hands down! And he's so cool! That calm composure of his even in the face of danger! How dreamy!"

"Oh my-"

"And then those muscles! OH THE MUSCLES! I could just...oh the things I'd do! Man...so smexy!"

At that point, I squealed.

"Eh..."

I looked over after my "rant" to see the subject's eye twitching in annoyance.

'Mission accomplished.'

_**2. Cast genjutsu of you burning all the ramen in the world.**_

About and hour later, I caught Naruto on his way to get some ramen at his favorite ramen stand.

"Grrrrallllwllllloelllll!"

The growling from his stomach probably could be heard form a mile away. Now was my time to strike.

"Naruto!"

"AH! Not you again!"

"Oh, yes!"

I quickly did my hand signs and trapped him in a powerful genjutsu from his worst nightmare.

"NO! NOT ALL THE PRECIOUS RAMEN! ITS TOO YOUNG AND DELICIOUS TO BURN! NOOOOOOOO!"

"Well...see you later!"

There I left him in a heap on the ground in a puddle of tears.

_**3. When he is hungry and has no money, eat ramen in front of him.**_

I sat waiting at the ramen stand for him for a good 15 minutes before he finally came and sat down in his usual spot. Little did he know that I jacked his money.

"Ah! Where's my money! is empty! Oh nooo!"

His stomach growled once more.

"I'll have a miso ramen please!"

I smiled innocently at the owner and he handed me a steaming bowl of "rameny goodness" as Naruto would say.

"Mmmmm! This is sooooo gooood! Mmmmmm! Yummy!"

I made a habit of smacking my lips and slurping my noodles as I felt Naruto's eyes on me. Another growl resounded and I looked over at Naruto.

"Do...do you want some?"

I looked at him innocently and pouted. He nodded vigorously and I handed over my bowl.

"Thanks! Itadakimasu!"

He dug in only to realize that there was one lone noodle left. I giggled to myself as I walked away.

_**4. Call him "dead last". (You might want to run away after this.)**_

Now I for certain that he was most likely mad at me by this point, but knowing me...I wanted to push my luck a bit more before whipping out my best.

"HEY, DEAD LAST!"

Naruto spun around so fast I almost missed it.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!"

I smiled shamelessly.

"You didn't have to turn around when I called it out. You could have just pretended like you thought I was talking to someone else, but since you didn't it proves that you really are deadlast!"

"Why you-"

I ran like hell.

_**5. Read Icha Icha Paradise in front of him.**_

The next day I stalked my prey again and finally caught up to him training by himself at the training grounds. I pulled a _special_ book out from my back pocket and creeped behind him.

"Hey Naruto!"

"AH! YOU! I'm going to-"

"And the they went outside and ^!#$*& $%%$ %#$()_($##4 $%$%^ &*&Q# !#$#$$#&*&*78&56545%$%$4343#$$"

"Uh...'

"And he #$##$$#$*&*(*&*&*& and #$##$#$#$&*&* the #$#$##orange$#$#!##$*&$#!#$*&tree##$##$#$#$*^&%$#$&( cow###$#$&***&* elmo#$##$#$#$$%&&I(%^$%%^ Bob the Builder #$$#$$%**&^*&^&^&*&."

"MY EARS!"

":$#*(%&%^%^#$%%$^&*&*& hair%^%**&*&*&*& OH NO2#$#%%*(*(($#%665 pooped on the floor #%$%^*(&%$ sniffed paper %$%$%^%%^%^^%%^^%$%^#%^65 mouse hatGFGGGGFF4%$567%%$$%$^%%^%%^%^!"

"NOOOOO! I CAN'T DROWN IT OUT!"

"POTATOES!"

And then I ran into the forest when I heard Sasuke come running in to help uke I mean Naruto.

_**6. Tell him Sakura wants to meet him for a date and where, then when he comes back from standing there all day, laugh and tell him "My mistake". and then run.**_

"Naru-chan!"

"Not you again!"

"WAIT! Sakura sent me to tell you she wants to meet you for a date!"

At this he turned around and smiled hopefully.

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

_'Oh this is too good!'_

"She wants you to meet her...uh...at the park under that oak tree at...midnight!"

"AWESOME! Tell her I'll be there!"

It took everything I had not to burst into laughter.

"Sure thing!"

...time skip...

The next morning I saw the dobe still under the oak tree.

"Oops! My mistake!"

"AHHHH! DANG YOU!"

And that was when I ran away laughing.

_**7. While on mission, get Sasuke and Narut**__**o in the same sleeping bag and take pictures. Then post them everywhere telling everyone their a couple. (Hide until things boil over after this.)**_

"Hokage-sama!"

"Who are you?"

"Random person #1."

"OK! How may I help you?"

I smiled.

"I need and escort to...a hidden land. Preferably...and team that has the number 7 in it."

"OK. Team 7 it is! SHIZUNE! GET TEAM 7 IN HERE NOW!"

"On it, Tsunade-sama!"

-another time skip-

"I can't believe I'm stuck with YOU!"

Naruto complained for the hundredth time...and we all sighed for the hundredth time.

"I want to stop! Pretty Please!"

Kakashi gave me a look and I pouted at him.

"OK. Everyone break out your tents!"

I went to work and had my tent up in a matter of minutes and put Phase 2 into action.

"OH NO!"

"What?"

Kakashi gave me a concerned look.

"I forgot a sleeping bag! A-And I'm sooo cold!"

I added in some water works and looked back at Kakashi.

"OK. Naruto give her yours!'

"WHAT! Why ME! Why not Sasuke-teme!"

"Don't ask questions! Just give it to the nice lady!"

I smiled evilly and grabbed the orange monstrosity from Naruto's hand.

"But where am I gonna sleep!"

"You can share with Sasuke-kun! He'll keep you warm!"

I giggled at the dirtiness of that thought.

"QUITE BANSHEE!"

I smacked the evil thing unconscious and snuggled into the bag to await the darkness as I watched a very unhappy Naruto get in his (love) tent with Sasuke.

-skip-

My camera was hung around my neck as I crept into the (love) tent of Sasuke and Naruto.

_'Mwahahahahaahahaahahahaha!'_

I slowly crept up and took a few shots before I ran off into the darkness to publish them.

"WHAT THE HECK!"

"Quite dobe and get back in out lov-I mean out tent. Just our tent!"

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A/N: Well did you like it? Love it? Please review!


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